Marriage and Divorce, a Civil Affair!

Historically marriage has been a civil contract between two consenting, and sometimes not consenting, people to live together and help each other through their trials, tribulations and positive life events. It was originally a Church or religious process, blessed by a Priest/Pastor and the community.

When the marriage was not going well, the couple would go back to the Church and talk with Priest/Pastor and attempt to find ways to get the marriage back on track. If the marriage could not be saved in any way, one of two things happened, they stayed together anyway, or the marriage was “annulled”.

As people and families started gaining wealth, when an annulment came about, there would be squabbles and disagreements about the splitting of the wealth. Initially the Church intervened and helped divide the possessions (and took a good portion of said wealth). But soon there after, the local government began getting involved and divorce court (roughly speaking) was created on the civilian side, outside of the Church(es). Again this was still a civil issue. As this continued one spouse or the other kept demanding more and more. Now, mind you, at this stage, most of the women were not working, except at home taking care of the children, house and spouse.

During this phase, child support and spousal support programs were started. The male (initially, now either side may have to pay) had to pay the female money each month to support the children, and often her as well.

People being people, the men stopped paying sooner or later, to support their children or spouse. The courts stepped back in and did all they could do to get the payments started up again. Again, it was still a civil issue.

Some time in the “resent” past the federal government decided to step in. Divorce is now a federal issue, and not a civil issue. You go to a federal district court to get your divorce. At least in most states, such as Colorado, California, etc. So, we have gone from a civil contract (which it still is!!) to a federal ending of the civil contract. Now, the Judge, instead of the Priest, ends the marriage and decides, if the parties don’t agree initially, how to split the property and wealth, and who pays whom what.

This payment system is built off of a bizarre formula that twist and turns on numerous factors. It isn’t based on the needs of the spouse or kids, but on other issues, not related to the basic needs of survival. It is keyed on the paying spouses income predominately, and at the time of divorce, not at real time.

Now, initially, in this “new” system, the court only demanded the payments, and would garnish wages and withhold tax returns to get the payments, minus their handling fees of course, made to the paid spouse. The the Feds step in again…

In most States the District courts are only able to garnish up to 80% of your wages, remove your driver’s license, and withhold tax returns. Now, the money maker goes form paying a child support, to loosing up to 80% of their income to their X-Spouse. Often not having enough to live on, forcing them to work two or more jobs just to survive. And all this while not having a vehicle (legally anyway!)!?

If the national economic situation changes, it doesn’t matter, the paying spouse still must pay as if they are able to make the same amount of money they did before. Hey, they did it once, they still can. What, the receiving X-spouse now has a very good paying job? No problem, the paying must continue at the same level!

There are some States, such as Colorado, California and a few other states, that have made the non-payment of child support a felony offense, punishable with up to 6 years in prison as a Class 5 felony at the low end, and a Class 1 felony with 25-life at the high end. Now, if you are convicted as a felon, you now have a reduced area of work capacity, because few people hire felons, regardless of what the charges are. (All they see is the word “Felony conviction” and automatically lump you into the same category as rapist, murderers, drug lords, etc.) So, a civil issue is now a felony issue.

So, my questions are:

(I have more questions, but these are the pressing ones..)

Now, in some cases I have seen fathers that stopped paying child support because their XWife stopped letting them see and interact with their kids. The judges, as a majority, don’t seem to care about that, they say “work it out”, but don’t do anything to make the visitations happen. In fact they hamper it in many ways. So, when the father stops paying child support, he is taken to court, often by the District or States attorney, not even by the Xspouse. Then the charges start and the man is in trouble all over again. (Could be inverted rolls, I’ve seen it both ways!)

Mind you, I do think that both parents should be responsible for the growth and upbringing of the offspring. With some catches. Both parties should have access to the children, should be able to input into their growth, and should be able to communicate with them. If this is blocked by one of the spouses, or even the courts, that person being blocked should not have to contribute financially. Now, if that spouse is not blocked, but does not contribute physically by being there, they should probably still be paying into the growth of their children. I do not think the federal/district court should be involved in these cases, and at most the civil courts may touch on them. I don not think there is criminally actionable events (in most cases) involved here that require taking away drivers license, jail or prison. Again all three of those make it harder to get the payments in that everyone is after.

Again, we are going the way of the Romans in all of our demands and actions. Wake up America, smell the coffee (at $8 a cup) and let’s get back to the basics of life, growth and love! Let us bring back God and Church into our life. Let us get back to the reasons we ceded from England, and stop taxing heavily (one of the main reasons we split), governing heavily (another big reason), and legislating heavily!